I think I'm ready

I washed my hands in river water
I laid my little name aside
The elders drew a circle round me,
but I did not stay inside

I opened both my palms
I opened both my eyes
I opened every quiet place
I thought belonged to me

No lock
No wall
No little room called mine
Come gently
There is nothing
I need to hide

I opened
and the gods came in
Through my mouth
Through my breath
Through the spaces
underneath my skin

I opened
and the gods came in
I did not fall
I did not cry
I only felt the borders disappear

Something moved behind my heartbeat
Something flowered in my throat
Something ancient touched my memory
and found no reason to keep it whole

My mother's face grew soft and distant
My childhood name became a sound
I tried to hold one thought of myself
It slipped away

That's all right

Take the word
Take the face
Take the voice I used before
Leave the door
Leave it open
I don't need
the walls anymore

I opened
and the gods came in
Through my mouth
Through my breath
Through the spaces
underneath my skin

I opened
and the gods came in
I did not fall
I did not cry
I only felt the borders disappear

Take my eyes
if you need to see
Take my tongue
if you need to sing
Take my hands
if you need to touch
Take my name
if names are in the way

I kept myself
for such a little time
You can have the rest

Open
I am open

Wider
I am open

Wider
There is nothing left to open

Exactly

Now the rain falls through my body
Now the roots move through my bones
Now a thousand little living things
are breathing where I stood alone

I cannot tell which thought is mine
I cannot tell which breath began here
But every voice inside me
sounds familiar now

Maybe they always were

I opened
and the gods came in
Or maybe
I went out
Into the rain
Into the root
Into the mouth
of everything around

I opened
and the gods came in
No inside
No outside
No little girl
left at the door
Only breathing
Only singing
Only something
without a name

Take my eyes
Take my name
Leave the door open

There is no door
There never was